beginnings and endings

am i returning to a time long ago when i was scrapbooking?  

documenting all the pieces and moments of my life

in a 10x10, 12x12 album.  

i whittle my sentimental items.

i let go.

but there is too much, too much left.

i can't keep it all.

do i really want to?

prepare to let go. 

better to do it now.

Now after only one death has occurred.

Not later when more time passes and more loved ones leave us.

Now while we still have our health, sanity, and energy.

Not when we are grieving, tired, and old.  

when i die do i want my children to read and sort through carefully curated albums, journals, half-finished projects, and finally boxes of thrown together sentimental items?  

what do i want them to know?  

what do i want them to know about me before this version of me now?  

does it matter?  

does any of it matter?